The Orange Slate

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Confessions of an Unemployed English Major

June 28, 2013

My blog has been largely silent because when I last wrote Mark and I had just gotten engaged. When you are engaged, lots of people want to congratulate you and give you advice but what no one says is that wedding planning is a schedule-wrecker. If you have a job, you will only go to work and plan the wedding. If you do not have a job you will only plan the wedding, which is why it's probably a good idea to remain employed during engagement.



We are married and I am officially unemployed and trying to figure out what it means to be a wife and a full-time writer. After sending out emails with writing pitches for hours, I remember halfway through the day that my name is supposed to be Emily McCord. Then I remember that the only thing more difficult than changing my name legally will be changing my name on social media. Being part of Gen Y is hard.


I realize now, too, that I will probably never be taken seriously again by many of my professional friends because I am now one of those annoying people who doesn't have a day-job and who complains about things like slow Internet and the price of obscure food products.


I understand now what Donald Miller was talking abut when he wrote "Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. . . . We are worth so much more." I find comfort by assuring myself that I am worth at least $4 a day because I did not spend any money commuting to work. 


And then I remember that Mark will probably ask me how much money I made today when he comes home. I check the fridge to make sure that I have food for dinner because I have this theory that if I just keep making amazing meals, Mark will not notice that one of us is not producing any income. Or at least he will pretend not to notice because he knows that if I get a full-time job he will have to help out with the cooking.


After I check the fridge I realize that it is almost 11:00 and that I need to send out my resume to at least three more people this morning because one of them just might recognize the inherent and lasting value of two English degrees and hire me.